I always change the winter air in my tires to summer air around this time of year.
Humor, Jokes, & Memes
- Thread starter MJE
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90 year old guy, who is a little hard of hearing, hears a knock and opens the front door..
A flouncy young woman greets him, “Hi! Your son sent me here to give you super sex for your birthday!”
“Oh, that’s nice….I’ll take the soup!”
A flouncy young woman greets him, “Hi! Your son sent me here to give you super sex for your birthday!”
“Oh, that’s nice….I’ll take the soup!”
A respectable lady approaches her priest after church and confides her worrying problem.
“Father, I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one sentence.”
“And what do they say?” the priest asks.
“They only say, ‘Hi, fellas, we’re prostitutes. Peckers at the ready if you want to have some fun!’”
“That’s terrible!” the priest exclaims. “But I have a solution. Bring your parrots to my house. I’ll put them with my two male talking parrots, Frank and Stan. I’ve taught them to pray and read the Bible. They’ll teach your parrots to stop that ungodly talk and learn to praise and worship.”
“Oh, thank you and bless you, Father!” the woman replies.
The next day, she brings her parrots to the priest’s house. Frank and Stan are in their cage, holding rosary beads and praying.
She places her two female parrots into the cage. Immediately, they say,
“Hi, fellas, we’re prostitutes. Peckers at the ready if you want to have some fun?”
Frank looks over at Stan and squawks,
“Put the beads away, Stan… our prayers have been answered!”
“Father, I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one sentence.”
“And what do they say?” the priest asks.
“They only say, ‘Hi, fellas, we’re prostitutes. Peckers at the ready if you want to have some fun!’”
“That’s terrible!” the priest exclaims. “But I have a solution. Bring your parrots to my house. I’ll put them with my two male talking parrots, Frank and Stan. I’ve taught them to pray and read the Bible. They’ll teach your parrots to stop that ungodly talk and learn to praise and worship.”
“Oh, thank you and bless you, Father!” the woman replies.
The next day, she brings her parrots to the priest’s house. Frank and Stan are in their cage, holding rosary beads and praying.
She places her two female parrots into the cage. Immediately, they say,
“Hi, fellas, we’re prostitutes. Peckers at the ready if you want to have some fun?”
Frank looks over at Stan and squawks,
“Put the beads away, Stan… our prayers have been answered!”
A man stopped in a biker bar
for a drink. As he was sitting there staring at his drink a large biker stepped up next to him,
grabbed his drink and gulped
it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he said menacingly to the man
and the man burst into tears.
"This is the worst day of my life!" he said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have insurance. then
I left my wallet in the uber
I took home.”
“When I got there I found my wife with another man and my dog bit me. So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.”
“So I bought this drink, dropped a capsule in and sat here watching the poison dissolve. Then you showed up and drank the whole thing! But enough about me – how's your day going?"
for a drink. As he was sitting there staring at his drink a large biker stepped up next to him,
grabbed his drink and gulped
it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he said menacingly to the man
and the man burst into tears.
"This is the worst day of my life!" he said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have insurance. then
I left my wallet in the uber
I took home.”
“When I got there I found my wife with another man and my dog bit me. So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.”
“So I bought this drink, dropped a capsule in and sat here watching the poison dissolve. Then you showed up and drank the whole thing! But enough about me – how's your day going?"
Man I'm having a really bad day.
I started buttoning my shirt this morning and a button fell off.
I picked up my computer bag and the strap fell off.
I went to open my car door and the handle fell off.
Now I have to go pee!!
I started buttoning my shirt this morning and a button fell off.
I picked up my computer bag and the strap fell off.
I went to open my car door and the handle fell off.
Now I have to go pee!!
A man went to the hospital to visit his mother-in-law, who was in serious condition.
On the way home his wife, worried, asked, “So honey, how’s my mom doing?”
He said, “Babe, she looks fantastic! The doctor says she’ll live for years. Next week she’ll be released from the hospital and can come live with us permanently!”
“Wow, that’s amazing!” said the wife. “But that’s strange. Yesterday she looked like she was on her deathbed. The doctors said she only had a few days to live.”
“Well,” he said, “I don’t know about yesterday. But today when I got there, the doctor told me we should prepare for the worst.”
On the way home his wife, worried, asked, “So honey, how’s my mom doing?”
He said, “Babe, she looks fantastic! The doctor says she’ll live for years. Next week she’ll be released from the hospital and can come live with us permanently!”
“Wow, that’s amazing!” said the wife. “But that’s strange. Yesterday she looked like she was on her deathbed. The doctors said she only had a few days to live.”
“Well,” he said, “I don’t know about yesterday. But today when I got there, the doctor told me we should prepare for the worst.”
Some may appreciate. I was at my local dealership looking at a LC250 and the sales guy tried to sell me a new 4Runner. I'm sure it's a great vehicle, but I can't unsee this meme, and now neither can you.
You win the internet today!!!
I almost bought a 4Runner Trailhunter over my LC, but seeing this meme and also the delay of Toyota on the hybrid editions of the 4Runner got me to buy the LC. I am very glad I did, because every 4Runner I see around town I just cannot unsee the meme and jokes behind it lol.
lmfao
Turaxx
Member
My wife seeing me zoom in on this, looking for Pops: “whatcha doin?”
Me: “Supposedly there’s an old man in here somewhere, I’m trying to see him.”
Her: “That’s worse than I thought tbh”
It’s not just Jeep folks, some of them are amongst us…
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